I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
