something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If I die, sorry about rent.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
