Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
