Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
