I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
