I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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