If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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