Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
