You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize