Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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