Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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