And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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