I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He passed out mid-signature
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
