no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
