i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
