So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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