You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
