...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
