the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
