The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
