If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
