it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
