did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
