my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
