youre lurking in front of me
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
