Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
