He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
