i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
