I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I need to calm my uterus...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
