He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
