last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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