I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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