I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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