And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
