im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
