Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Randomize
