11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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