Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
