Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
