i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
