Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
