whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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