i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm just crazy horny about you
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize