fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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