So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize