and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
