forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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