perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
