i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize