I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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