I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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