My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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