Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
