Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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