I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
