I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
