What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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