you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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