You made me cry and you don't even care
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
