just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
